It has come the time in my life where I must buy new clothes. Two babies in two years, and then the scourge of the tiny holes in my shirts have winnowed my winter wardrobe down to nothing. I went out to a few stores the other day in search of clothing for the kids for our family pictures this weekend and noticed a disturbing trend when it comes to jeans and pants in my size.

Skinny jeans. Everywhere.

In fact, I was informed by my Twitter friends (who know these things) that skinny jeans are the ONLY jeans out there this season. Cargo-type pants are not even available anymore. I know, because I looked.

Since I started teaching and practicing Lagree Fitness Pilates, I have changed shape once again. From maternity, to post-maternity, to maternity again, to Pilates… I am proud to say that, yes, I have worked very hard to get my glutes and thighs crazy strong and toned. You would think that I would be excited to show them off. You would think that, but you would be wrong.

I do not like to use profanity on this blog, but I can’t think of a better way to say this: I do not really want people looking at my ass. Skinny jeans make me feel like everyone is looking at my ass.

Is it just me, or do skinny jeans really seem to leave your rear end nowhere to hide? Maybe it’s just my perception that boot cut jeans were a little less “out there”. And I really loved cargo pants.

Sure, my husband loves the skinny jeans look. And that is an appropriate way for him to feel about my body. There is an attitude out there that “you can look but not touch, and if you’re going to leer that is your problem”. I have to disagree with that. I feel that I have some degree of control in the way that I dress which confers upon me a certain amount of responsibility for how people look at me.

It’s true that in one aspect, wearing skinny jeans does promote my Pilates practice by exhibiting the results of the work I have done, but in other ways it can really bother another woman who struggles with body image issues. As the advertisements say: results may not be typical. I can guarantee you that there is another part of her body that comes out ahead of mine. We are all born with our own bodies and they just don’t look alike. We are all beautiful, we shouldn’t look the same. Skinny jeans make me feel like I am promoting comparison.

And don’t even get me started on how I spent most of the 5th grade coveting those jeans that closed at the bottom with a zipper. If I was wearing this trend in the 80’s, I am more than a little reluctant to repeat these fashion mistakes when I am nearly 35. Should a woman of my age even be wearing the same thing she wore at 10 years old? I think not, my friends.

Because I never have a 100% solid opinion on anything, I can also counter everything I’ve said in this post by mentioning that I’ve seen some of my friends do a great job of wearing skinny jeans in a manner that does not scream “look at me” or draws unnecessary attention to their assets. I know it can be done.

To those friends, I say: please comment on this post and tell me where you got those jeans and what you looked for when you were shopping. Please. 

In the meantime, I will be lurking here in the corner, in my cargo pants from 2008, bemoaning my lack of choice in pants and trying to reconcile my inevitable participation in this trend.